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A leap of faith

December 19, 2010 Leave a comment

A leap of faith.  We’ve all heard the phrase, but what does it really mean to take a leap of faith?  What immediately comes to mind for me is the scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”.  Indy reaches the “Leap from the Lion’s Head” in which he has to take a step off a cliff into a seemingly bottomless chasm.  Only after taking that first step does he discover, much to his relief, that it was an optical illusion.  There was actually a sturdy bridge there which he safely crossed.

Of course before taking his leap of faith, Harrison Ford had the benefit of reading the script.  The rest of us unfortunately don’t get that convenient little heads up.  Of course if we got to look ahead it wouldn’t really be much of a test, would it?

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Stuck at a crossroads

November 30, 2010 2 comments

There comes a time in life when every person reaches a crossroads.  Sometimes it’s at work, other times it’s at home.   Unfortunately I find myself at such a place in several areas of my life, and there are no good choices. 

Throughout my life I’ve always had a plan.  I even had a plan “B”, “C”, and “D”.  I developed that coping skill back in college.  I call it the “What’s the worst that can happen?” technique.  When I was really worried about something I would ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?”  I would then make a list (either mental or written depending how freaked out I was) and come up with a plan for Read more…

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Men and Women… God’s cruel joke.

November 1, 2010 Leave a comment

I was talking with a friend of mine the other day.  She was telling me about an argument she’d had with her husband.  To us his logic was unfathomable, yet he seemed to think he made all the sense in the world.  It boiled down to one immutable truth.  Boys are weird.  Their logic does not resemble our earth logic.  Although he was probably out with his buddy having the very same conversation about us.   Read more…

There comes a time when you have to choose…

October 16, 2010 Leave a comment

Am I going to improve my life or am I just going to bitch about it?  I am talking specifically about my work in this case.  I have been at my job for approaching 12 years.  First of all, it’s a long time to be doing the same type of thing in the same place.  Of course there have been changes over the years, but unfortunately many of them pull for my weaknesses and not my strengths. 

I am the program director for a nonprofit  community based vocational program for adults with developmental disabilities.  When I first started the job I absolutely loved it.  I enjoyed working with my individuals and I found my duties interesting and challenging.  Although I had to do a budget for my program, it was pretty straight forward.  There were contracts that were taken care of by the accounting people in the main office (or the mothership as I like to call it).   Read more…

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Facing your worst fear

October 2, 2010 1 comment

At the ripe old age of 42 I have lived long enough to say “When I was your age” to someone who doesn’t still talk about what grade he or she is in.  People who are now adults weren’t even born when I graduated high school. 

A friend and co-worker of mine is 23 years old.  She has been married for a little less than two years, bought a house and now has a baby boy on the way.  Sometimes when I look at her, I think of how I was at that age.  In just about every way she has her act much more together than I did back then. 

Many many years ago when I was twenty-three… (actually the beginning of a song, an inside joke in my family)

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Categories: Deep Reflective Stuff

Raising children in a dual faith household

September 26, 2010 Leave a comment

Religion is such a tricky thing.  Wars are fought over it.  People die in the name of it.  If millions of people of various faiths can’t share a planet in peace, how is it possible to do it in one home?

I was raised Jewish.  Although our parents hailed from Israel and spoke fluent Hebrew, our house was not especially practicing.  We seldom went to synagogue, didn’t keep kosher, and did not observe any but the most signficant holidays.  I’ve heard people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter referred to as “C&E Christians”.  That would make my family “RH&YK Jews”.  We primarily went to temple for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur if we went at all.  In fact, I got Temple Sinai and Temple University mixed up as a kid.  I’ve always had a strong sense of “being a Jew” from a cultural point of view, but not especially from a religious one. 

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It’s funny how one false step can change the course of your life

September 17, 2010 Leave a comment

A certain anniversary unique to me is approaching that always makes me wonder how things would have turned out if I had chosen differently.  The phrase “today is the first day of the rest of your life” has always sounded kind of corny to me.  But there is some truth to it.  At the risk of sounding like a geek (or a bigger geek) there is an episode of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” in which a demon named Whistler talks about the biggest moments in your life.  You never see them coming, but they happen whether you are ready or not. 

Sometimes it’s a big event or one of those instances where time seems to slow down.  But most times, it’s vague every day situations that you don’t realize are upon you until it’s too late.  I can trace most of what happened in my adult life to one decision I made when I was 18 years old on September 19, 1986.  It seemed like nothing at the time, but everything that came after was a direct result of that day. 

If I had not made the choice I did, my life would have been different.  I probably would have broken up with my high school sweetheart.  We wouldn’t have gotten married.  I most likely wouldn’t have moved to Boston, MA.  If I had not moved there, I wouldn’t have gone to Antioch New England for graduate school.  A different school would have led to a different internship. 

As it was, I was having a terrible time finding a placement.  Antioch was located in Keene, New Hampshire and had referral resources.  The problem was that most of their contacts were in and around Keene.  They had a few sites in Vermont, but nothing in the Boston area.  I got so desperate I started going through the phonebook calling places one by one.  I got all the way to “N” when Neww Center in Newton, MA said they had an opening.  I went to the interview and got the position.  That placement led me down the path to working in non-profits.  A different internship would have led me in another direction professionally.

Had I not married my high school sweetheart, I wouldn’t have gotten divorced from him. (well, a big DUH to that one)  Instead I found myself newly divorced and alone in Boston.  I decided to move near my brother, Peter, for moral support.  I started accompanying him to conventions, met my second husband, had my beautiful girls, and here I am. 

If I had made a different decision on September 19, 1986 my life would have taken another path.  If we are the sum of our experiences then I would be a very different person.  In that one vague situation, did I know I was choosing a specific path?  No I didn’t.  It just seemed like a good idea at the time.

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